Distractions

I thought that I would leave this blog for a bit again just to give myself time to process things, but it’s nice to able to write things out here and have a collection of my thoughts.

I was listening to songs all day yesterday as a way to distract myself. I was focusing on work as well. I would have gone crazy if I was just at home alone. At least a work, there are people around so I don’t have the chance to break down.

I got my new 60gb iPod recently so for the first time ever I had my entire music library with me. There are so many songs that I had forgotten that I loved. I was listening to Jann Arden’s “Happy?” album. I think it’s contains the most emotionally resonant songs I’ve heard. The lyrics are so fitting for how I feel….

I’ll give some excerpts:

Hangin; By A Thread
When I cry
When I am sad I think of every awful thing I ever did
Oh When I cry, there is no love,
No there is nothing that can comfort me enough
When I cry,
Cry, cry

The salt inside my body ruins everyone I come close to
My hands are barely holding up my head
I am so tired of looking at my feet
Or all the secrets that I keep

My heart is barely hangin' by a thread
Hangin' by a thread


Wishing That
And when I kissed you
You would almost always kiss me back
But I could tell your mind
was with someone else
Oh my hands are folded
neatly on my lap and I am
picturing your body as I ask myself if

You love me too
Wishing that you love me too
Wishing that


Ode To A Friend
I don't mind if you stay longer
You have not been any trouble
I don't want you to go home yet
can you stay just stay ten more minutes

You are my best friend
I don't know how I'd live
How I love you
every square inch
Love your brown eyes
your forgiveness

Don't go home now
It's past midnight
You can sleep here
we'll have breakfast
Yes

You are my greatest gift
I don't know how I'd live
You are my saving grace
You are by heart my true friend


I was just listening to these songs of hers all day. I don't know why when you're sad, you want to listen to sad music. I always thought people should listen to happy music to boost their spirits. But now, I think people listen to sad music to help them bring out those emotions they're afraid to face.